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finally got my certification in the mail, I`m officially insane.
When`s it gonna be the 4th of July? I feel like blowin somethin` up and not gettin` arrested.
is cuddling up with a good book and a cup of tea. Ah, who am I kidding... I´m looking at Hustler and having a beer.
If today drags anymore, it`s going to come out of the closet in a sexy little dress
I keep forgetting how bad my memory has become..
does anyone know if smurfs are gluten free
Whoever said, "All men are created equal", has obviously never been to a nude beach
It would serve me better if they put shopping carts in the middle of the store where my pride realizes I have too much shit to carry.
I just went into an AOL chat room to ask someone how to start a fire with sticks.
How do Amish girls know if it`s a romantic candle lit dinner or just a regular one #DeepThoughts
I would unblock you but then I`d be admitting I`d made a mistake and that`s just not my thing.
On the bright side, my coffee will never get cold in hell.
"You`re so cute!" works as a response to anything my girl says 99% of the time when I`m not listening which is 99% of the time.
Good morning friends … Wait … what the hell m I doing up this early?
As you get closer and closer to the end of this status, I think it`s important that you lower your expectations.