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Is it a firm rule that you have to be an addict to check into rehab? Because that one in Malibu looks pretty nice.
I`m not sure what my spirit animal is, but I`m sure it has Rabies.
Of course everyone seems sexy in a nightclub. There’s liquor and you can’t hear them.
I flunked anger management class.
Hardest question in a relationship, "What do you feel like eating?"
My friend on Facebook "Can`t believe its Monday again already"... if only there were some way for her to calculate the order in which days occur.
Random Thought: How do bats hang upside down without crapping on themselves?
People – the most gentle, loving, kind, sympathetic, peaceful and caring creatures in the world. Especially when they need something from you.
Mashed potatoes really beg the question: “what else could we massively improve by squashing the hell out of it?”
You can dress for success or undress for it. It depends on what type of work you want.
I just saw a squirrel dragging a wine bottle bag up a tree ... I think I found my spirit animal.
The problem with today`s children is that today`s parents are idiots.
Why do we even ask rhetorical questions?
If you start smacking people with your wife`s purse she won`t ask you to hold it for her anymore
For an "adult" bookstore, this place has a LOT of picture books