Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
You can pretty much text anything as long as you put a happy face emoticon afterwards. You`re a slut :)
Yeah but why do they call him Bigfoot if both of his feet are the exact same size
My fake plant died because I didn`t pretend to water it
We should really thank our Dads for bringing us into this world since our Moms were probably tired and not in the mood.
is battling with eyelids
You know those people who get all excited and lovey with puppies at pet stores? Same. But I`m in a liquor store.
My doctor told me to eat more Taco Bell, well he actually told me to eat "less McDonalds" but I`m pretty sure I know what he meant.
If someone says "I`m a sub-par golfer" does that mean they`re good at golf, or bad?
Never judge a girl`s boob size by their jacket.
Sobriety and I have agreed to see other people today
I was all ears until you said something that sounded like advice.
You know you are getting old when people start telling you how young you look.
All i ever see on facebook is LBR, TBH, LMS, and all that other crap...
Tried to explain Twitter to my 80 year old Mother, pretty sure she is now insane.
Billion dollar idea: Meth with Flouride