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To those that manufacture and market tight, thin yoga pants to fit college girls; I love you man.
I`m trying to be healthy and grow my own food but I can`t find any Twinkie seeds. :/
The older the Facebook post, the creepier your “like” becomes.
Ill be in my office giving co-workers the silent treatment ..by sending them blank emails.
I’m probably single because I forgot to forward those chain messages from 2008.
Miley Cyrus could never live in the kind of cold we`re having here. Can you imagine all the poles her tounge would get stuck to?
Monday must be a man ... It comes too quickly.
The worst thing about renting movie from a Red Box is that a $1 late fee isn’t enough motivation to get off the couch.
Remember, condoms prevent minivans.
If watching the big-screen TV with your pants off and a bag of Doritos is wrong, then they shouldn`t have couches at this Best Buy.
So bored at work I can`t even think of something to goggle
The problem with this generation? The cartoons suck.
Saw these three things on a corner, in this order: Liquor store, gun store, bank. What could possibly go wrong with that?
Highways need 4 lanes per side - A NASCAR wannabe lane, a normal driver lane, an old people who drive 40 in a 70 lane & a "where in the hell am I?" lane.
I’m not single and I’m not committed… I’m simply on reserve for the one who deserves…