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I don’t really forgive people I just pretend like it`s okay and wait for my opportunity to destroy them.
On a scale of one to crazy, how many cats do you have?
After four karate lessons, I can now break a two-inch board with my cast.
I cannot be held responsible for what my face does when other people talk.
Describe myself in three words ... 1. Lazy
The internet is just another location for people to be wrong about things.
There may be two sides to every story, but you’re still a douche in both of them.
Just had a fight with my alarm clock. It wanted me to wake up, I disagreed. Things got violent. Now the alarm clock is broken and I`m wide awake. Not sure who won.
I cannot turn water into wine but, I can turn ice cream into breakfast so that’s pretty neat.
If you are offended by the words "In God We Trust" on your money, then send it to me. I don`t mind it at all.
Don`t ask me what I did today, neither of us want to hear it out loud.
As you get closer and closer to the end of this status, I think it`s important that you lower your expectations.
Note to self: you never read these notes so stop writing them.
Today is boozeday, I mean Tuesday...same difference!
I worry about people who write "taken" in their bios. Where did they go? Who took them and why aren`t we helping to find them?