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The Hobbit 2: we`ve still got a long way to walk
Relatives - Because sometimes you need reminding of your bad genes too.
I don`t care if it`s a kidnapping/murder; if you tell me a monkey will be involved, I`m 97% more likely to participate.
Why was the cat in the bag in the first place?
A new study says eating sugar will kill you and was conducted by the No Sh!t Sherlock Research Institute.
Just been wondering what "please Do Not Touch" would be in Braille
The judge says I`m a repeat offender, but he always says that.
I think I have an urge to get up and clean the house. Wait...no, false alarm.
You only live once is the most reassuring thing I`ve ever heard.
It’s what’s on the inside that counts, unless you’re talking about one of those hollow chocolate bunnies.
Hey ladies who complain about falling in when we leave the toilet seat up; how about you first check if the runway is there before you bring the plane down.
I really want to take photos of my friends with their face smushed against glass.. Then make that pic my phone contact for them.. Then when they call, it will look like they`re trapped inside my phone! Oh god my life is pitiful, kill me..
Still have my French Maid costume in case any of you have a dirty house. I`ll be happy to sit there and look sexy while your wife cleans....
I just saw a 3D printer at the UPS store. It`s kind of cool, but I won`t be impressed until it can print snacks...
I feel like people who don`t have at least one bottle of expired salad dressing in the fridge, really have their lives together.