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See, this is why I never like too wake up, it means doing things.
"IT`S A BOY" I shouted, tears rolling down my face "I DON`T BELIEVE IT. A BOY!" It was at that moment I chose never to visit Thailand again.
You don`t have to like me, I`m not a Facebook status.
I`m 5`5" and a HALF. I think men should be pretty impressed that I consider half inches very important when measuring things.
If you sneeze near an atheist, they just say "science appreciates you".
We`re all here because we`re not all there...
When I was growing up the TV was my nanny.
What if the lightbulb had never been invented? How would we know when someone has a really good idea?
My wife hasnt stopped looking through the window since it started raining. If it gets worse, I might have to let her back in...
Messing up a guy’s hair = cute. Messing up a girl’s hair = putting your life on the line.
You say you don`t need to drink to have fun. All I`m hearing is designated driver.
Me: *kisses her on both cheeks goodbye* Cashier: That`s really not necessary
If I could bring one dead person back to life I`d bring back Walk Disney. Just to show him the shows on Disney channel and see his reaction..
Are the unmarried employees at Kraft known as the Kraft Singles?
Nothing f*cks up your Friday like realizing that it`s only Tuesday