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Two interesting facts for you: 1) Some pine cones look like poop. 2) I`m never kicking anything wearing flip flops again.
Why can`t braille just be in the shape of the letters?
I was about to read the story below. But it was too long.
Friends are like orgasms... nobody wants the fake ones.
Nice try, blocked number but I don`t even answer the phone for people I know.
Per Wikipedia, there are two kinds of scorpions. One can sting and kill you like a spider, the other can sing and rock you like a hurricane
Learned today that it`s about 12 min after realizing there`s no TP in the stall that you ask yourself how important your socks really are.
Manager: So, do you have any questions about the job? Me: Yeah, can I have it?
When Life rains on your parade, get out the Slip-n-Slide.
I guess today has been pretty good. I haven`t had to slap one single person yet....
I always reply to my wife’s texts with :0))) I’m not being friendly, I’m discretely letting the fat bitch know how many chins she has.
Noise cancelling toilets should be a thing.
Roses are red, so is my wine. Refill my glass and I`ll be just fine.
hilarious
Tarantulas are like cigarettes. They are pretty much harmless, until you put them in your mouth and light them on fire.