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People around me think I`m losing it. So today, I had to sit myself down and have a talk.
Your kid is running around the store screaming at the top of his lungs annoying everyone and I`m the a$$hole for tripping him?
I used to be a camera man in the porn industry but it became too hard...
My hobbies include working out, staying fit, eating healthy, and lying.
someone told me I am immature and need to grow up ... so guess who is not allowed in my snow fort!!!
It`s like my golf instructor thinks I`m mature enough to handle him talking about balls, and how to properly grip the club.
Randomly print things to give your co-workers the impression you’re working.
There’s been over 30 billion messages posted on Facebook, and yet most of us have never even talked to our neighbors.
Spread happiness by smiling at a stranger today, or flash them your boobs...... Strangers love boobs!
I honestly have a fear that one day I`ll leave my house and not be wearing any pants!
Think we could get the North Korean hackers to end "Keeping Up With The Kardashians"?
I hate when a website has a picture that you can click and enlarge. Then the "enlarged picture" is the same exact size as the thumbnail!
Today I saw a girl with the word "Anel" on her butt. I was like, woah..it`s supposed to say "Anal"..it`s spelled wrong then I realized it was supposed to say "Angel". The G was stuck in her a$$crack
Guy on plane: So, where are you going? Me: I`m guessing it`s the same place you`re going.
Words of Wisdom: Don`t cover your mouth when you sneeze. You`ll get snot and stuff all over your hands