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Why do baby clothes have pockets?
They say in the near future computers will become more intelligent than people, really, the near future? I walk down the street and see girls who struggle with the difference between orange and tanned, guys who have no idea how a belt works, and all of them with less language skills then the average trained chimp. Computers? Hell I’ve got an alarm clock that’s smarter than most of them right now.
Some will forget, the others are simply women.
Therapy helps ... but screaming obscenities is faster and cheaper!
Lazy Rule 47: If you spill water, it will eventually dry.
If thought bubbles appeared over our heads, I would get punched in the face a lot more.
I love when bill collectors ask if you can borrow the money...uh I did that before and I think we both know how that turned out.
You heard me right. I said:"Lets agree to disagree." It`s much more polite than:"Whatever, bitch."
So this guy pointing a gun to my face was like: Your money or your life! and I was like: I`m on Facebook, I don`t have money or a life.
My bucket list: 4 drumsticks, 2 thighs, 2 mashed potatoes with gravy, and 2 biscuits. Extra crispy.
Single ladies, stop saying you should just give up & get a cat , if no man wants you , don`t force an innocent cat to live with you..
You say illegal, I say added to my bucket list.
Good friends don’t let you do dumb things… alone.
Marry someone who can cook. Love fades, hunger doesn`t.
Apple and Blackberry should team up and make a phone called the Pie.