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A friend doesn`t question your motive, they just keep their mouth shut and dig.
Eventually I will find Bigfoot and he will tell me all he knows about Hide & Seek.
That`s weird, all this time I thought the Birds and the Bees was a dance from the 50`s.
When I die and I`m standing at the gates, I hope they give me the carpenter`s cup challenge from Indiana Jones. I`m totally ready for that one.
Modern video games are giving kids unrealistic standards of how many swords they can carry at one time.
Bring multiple sets of clothes to work, change every hour, and act like nothing’s different.
Whoever said imitation is the sincerest form of flattery hasn`t had a 7yo mimicking their every word for the last 10 minutes.
My moral compass must run on solar power because it never seems to work after dark.
If by O.P.P. you mean Other People’s Pancakes, then yes I’m down with O.P.P.
It`s hard to trust humans; even the blind prefer to be guided by dogs.
I hate waiting in lines. I wish this woman would hurry up and pick a suspect.
Life gets a lot easier once you decide to become part of the problem.
I just wanted to say thank you to all the people that have given me a reason to drink this Friday night.
My wife says I talk while I sleep. But I’m skeptical. Nobody at work has ever mentioned it.
What the world needs is a self help movie, cause lets face it, most of us won`t buy the book.