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In post apocalyptic movies everyone wears leather ... but there are no cows.
I learn from the mistakes of people who took my advice.
If I won the award for laziness, I would send somebody to pick it up for me.
Don`t under estimate me... unless you`re trying to guess how old I am or how much I weigh.
45 minutes on the treadmill is no big deal if you don`t turn it on
has often thought that what doesn’t kill us makes us drink stronger liquor.
Life is NOT like a box of chocolates. It`s more like a jar of jalapeños. What you do today, can burn your a$$ tomorrow.
Bad things happen to good people, so I`m pretty sure we`re all safe
You the bomb" "No you the bomb" A compliment in America. An argument in the middle east
Dear vegetarians, thanks for saving all the good food for us.
No matter how hard I try, I just never seem to run out of bad ideas.
I’ve spent way too much of my life wondering why food doesn’t rhyme with good.
It`s all rainbows and sunshine until he breaks your heart, then it`s voodoo dolls and arson reports.
Still have not used all the free hours from my AOL start up disk
Sorry I shouted "MORTAL KOMBAT!" when you started arguing with your husband at the grocery store