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If there is no chocolate in heaven...I AM NOT GOING!
If camera lenses are round, why are the pictures square?
Do you guys dance in the shower too? This morning I did the robot! (I short circuited and stared at the wall for 40 minutes, broken)
Social media - keeping people away from each other since 2006.
I worry about people who write "taken" in their bios. Where did they go? Who took them? Why aren`t we helping to find them?
The real trouble with reality is that there´s no background music
Weather forecast for tonight: dark
I’m just going to put an “Out of Order” sticker on my forehead and call it a day.
Dear alcohol we had a deal where you were supposed to make me cool, sexy, charming and a great dancer........I seen a video......we need to talk.
Business plan : 1. hold sign that says "free hugs" 2. Whisper during the hug, "it`s $50 to let go"
Ordering a water with lemon says “I’m too cheap to buy a drink, but I still like a little zing.”
If I had to describe myself with one word it would be "Doesn`t understand directions".
Accept the craziness. Life will be a bore without it.
people say that sarcasm is the lowest form of wit, but it`s the only way I can talk to you.
Let’s have a moment of silence for all these guys that tried to walk across power lines but fell because someone tied their shoes together.