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Can`t dance? Spell your name....in the air...with your butt. BOOM! Next problem...
Yes I`m still bitter about my name not being mentioned in "Mambo No. 5"
Look at the keyboard. It has `U` and `I` together. Look underneath that. It says `JK`.
In today`s world, the key to success is to delete your Whatsapp account!
Drinking coffee in the afternoon is like eating the mushroom that makes you big in Super Mario.
Scientists discover that caterpillars can whistle. Am I the only one wondering if they`re concentrating their efforts on the wrong things?
The key to any successful marriage is separate TVs.
All other things being equal, tall people use more soap.
I love you more each day as my other options diminish.
People say that 60 is the new 40. The cop who pulled me over didn`t agree.
Even if I were taking a dump on the moon someone would walk in and sit down in the stall next to me.
Its amazing how many people respond to "Hey Dumba$$!"
My new credit card has this awesome theft protection where it just says "declined" whenever you use it.
What do you mean being awesome for another year isn`t a resolution?
The “Slow Children Playing” signs always make me sad. Would it cost that much more to thrown in punctuation?