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Huge spoiler here ... Did you know Dave is actually NOT the real father of Alvin, Simon, and Theodore.
I just did my budget for August. If I don`t buy food ... I won`t need toilet paper. I think I`m on to something here.
Sandals or shoes? I have adorable toes. All 12
dear journal..im now the coolest kid in school....mom:SWEETIE THE CHESSCLUB IS HERE 4 U!!!
Had to talk with my son about masturbation today...I explained that it is natural, and he should probably knock before he comes into my room from now on.
I will always love you, even if I have to from no closer than 300 feet.
Nothing gets me motivated for 10-15 seconds like a good inspirational quote.
You know what I like about people? Their dogs.
If I`m not in bed by 11PM, then I go home.
I`m not a bitch, I just have a low bullsh!t tolerance.
To-Do List : Nothing[?]
I don’t have a problem with friends who ask to borrow money. I love a good laugh as much as the next guy.
Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money?
What`s Forrest Gump`s password? 1forest1
I hate it when I tell someone I`ll be there in 10 minutes, but they continue to call me every half-hour anyway