Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
It was hard getting over my addiction to the Hokey Pokey, but I’ve turned myself around.
You`d think that with as much time as women spend looking at their butt in the mirror they would be able to parallel park.
I have no idea what a bejeezus is,,, but apparently mine scares easy.
There`s both a McDonald`s and a blood pressure machine at our Walmart. Circle of life.
Shoot for the moon, and even if you miss, you and your motivational crap is far away
I wish I could smack the stupid out of people. And if you think this status is about you ... Smack yourself for me!
Eleventeen percent of the population makes up words.
Remember when phones were stupid and people were smart? hmm...
I checked into a hotel this weekend. I told the girl I hoped the porn channel was disabled. She said "No, its just regular porn, you sicko"
The fastest way to find out if your wife is just pretending to be asleep to avoid sex is to pick up her phone and start scrolling.
Happy 4/21! National work drug testing day!
The beeping noise from microwave is always 100x’s louder at night.
Never ask a Leper to "give you a hand", seriously, don`t........................
Crossfit is the healthiest way to get rid of your friends.
I just witnessed a co worker eat a cupcake with no frosting ... What kind of devil worshiping nonsense is this?