Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Winter needs to calm the f*ck down
New Years Eve. It takes 24,367 bolts to put a car together and only 1 nut to spread it all over the road, please don`t drink and drive and become the nut
I dream of a better world where chickens can cross the road and not have their motives questioned.
Babysitters are just teenagers who behave like adults so that adults can go out and behave like teenagers.
Look, if your cart is in the middle of the aisle and I need to get by, then yes, this is bumper cars.
So it`s racist to call a team Redskins but it`s okay to call a restaurant Cracker Barrel ?
You know you’re ugly when it comes to a group picture and they hand you the camera.
Men also have feelings. For example, we can feel hungry.
They told me to never give up. Now they call me a stalker.
You`d think my password was "yourmom" because the computer said it was too easy.
I hate it when spiders just sit there acting like they pay rent.
Really offended that these microwave instructions told me to turn my burrito over gently like I don`t treat every burrito with the utmost respect
hilarious
They need to put more spider poison in hairspray.
They say 1 minute of kissing burns 26 calories. No wonder sluts are so damn skinny.