Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I’m beginning to believe that successful relationships come down to Netflix compatibility.
Alcohol won’t solve your problems, but neither does milk or orange juice.
Roses are red, violets are blue, If i had a brick id throw it at you.
I`m already going to hell ... now I`m just trying to get a good spot.
I just apologized to my wife for something she did wrong. Marriage is fun.
I`m just a man standing in front of a woman, who is standing in front of another man who is in front of another woman in line at Taco Bell.
I stayed at a really nice, really fancy hotel this weekend. The towels were so thick I could hardly get my suitcase shut.
Marriage. Because dodging your own family wasn`t enough.
Everyone talks about leaving a better planet for our kids. Let`s try to leave better kids for our planet.
I already want to take a nap tomorrow.
We all need that special person in our lives that makes it worth while to shave our pubes.
A Slinky is a great way to teach young children that it`s fun to push things down the stairs.
Let’s all agree to stop saying “I read about it somewhere” and admit that we saw it on Law and Order.
My sex life is like a Ferrari ... I don`t have a Ferrari
Life is too short for fake butter, cheese or people.