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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

Friends are like boobs... Some are real some are fake.
The real problem with this generation is that the cartoons suck.
When girls wear yoga pants I feel like a ghost from Mario. Uncontrollably attracted when they turn away, but frozen when they look at me.
Sometimes, I wish I could fast forward the time just to see if in the end it`s all worth it.
I`m not a control freak. I just know what`s best...for everyone.
How did Mexico keep enough people from crossing the border to field a full soccer team?
I`m awkward when people compliment me. "Nice hair" "Thanks, I grew it myself"
Jack daniel was found dead by johnie walker at castle strt under savanna tree,captain morgan believed dat he was killed by strongbow.his 4cuzns said that he was best in j&b club at knights...
Yes, I talk to myself...Yes, I answer myself and Yes, I argue with myself....and the makeup sex is awesome.
Part of me says I canΒ΄t keep drinking like this. The other part of me says, "DonΒ΄t listen to that guy. HeΒ΄s drunk."
If you are not sweating while doing it...then you are doing it wrong.
You`re right, you didn`t ask that guy for a d!ck pic, but nobody asked for hundreds of pictures of your face either.
People say nails on a chalkboard is the worst sound ever... I think it`s the alarm clock in the morning.
I party until the taxi with the pretty red and blue lights picks me up.
My biggest problem is that I believe almost everything I tell myself.