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Hey I just met you... And this is Crazy... But this is a nice restaurant... So, Silence your baby!
If I throw a stick will you leave?
u smile i smile u laugh i laugh u cry i`ll go get a bat and say who`s gonna get it
Don`t be part of the problem. Be the ENTIRE problem.
Why does `beans` only mean secret when it`s "Don`t spill the beans?" Why can`t I say I have a dirty little beans to tell you?
McDonald’s Management Rule #23: “The employee with the most severe accent or speech impediment must work the drive-thru at all times.”
My friends had a surprise party for me last night, well I called it a surprise party they called it an intervention.
They act like technology is ruining childhood, but back in the day, kids were so bored they would turn their eyelids inside out for fun.
Is it just me or do mirrors look really sexy?
You`ll all be sorry when I figure out how to breathe fire.
My new credit card has this awesome theft protection where it just says "declined" whenever you use it.
Hell hath no fury like a girl tagged in an unapproved pic on Facebook.
I’m totally fine with favoritism as long as I’m the favorite.
Orgasms are alot like pizza. As long as I have pizza I don`t really care if you don`t have any pizza.
People always ask me, where do I come up with my status`, do I make them up, or do I get them from the internet.. Truth is people. I use Status Enhancing Drugs.