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I really need a day between Saturday and Sunday.
I might be a day late and a dollar short, but it is still my personal best.
If you have a parrot and you don’t teach it to say,”Help, they’ve turned me into a parrot” ...you`re wasting everybody’s time.
with great power...comes great electric bill...
I was playing catch phrase with my family and the phrase I got was `pearl necklace` .. And then I ruined family time...
That must have been a heck of a party judging by the police reports.
Why the hell do we still use snow shovels when flame throwers are available?
I don`t get why people find drunk text annoying
I think instead of doing laundry I`m just going to buy a second hamper...
I´m not cheap, but I am on special this weekend. ;)
You`d think by episode 133 the Scooby Doo gang would know it`s a guy in a costume every time.
I try to always be the bigger person by hanging out with a lot of short people.
People should have to pass an IQ test to use the self-checkout section.
U.S.A.... where people order double cheese burgers, large fries, and a diet coke
I have learned from watching crime dramas on tv when the good guys yell "Federal Agents" at the bad guys, the bad guy always runs. Wouldn`t it be smarter to yell "Prize Patrol" if you really want to catch a bad guy?