Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
My dog`s ratio of digging holes in my yard to finding buried treasure is not where I`d like it to be.
"It`s not a pyramid scheme" is a phrase almost exclusively used by people involved in pyramid schemes
No, I would not like to know what fruit my body is shaped like.
Girl: What color are my eyes? Guy: 34C
A cool thing about being in a relationship is that when you make a mistake you get to hear about it over and over.
I`m great in bed....i can sleep for days.
Whenever someone says, "Have a good one." I always respond with, "I have a good one, I just wish it were longer."
woman belong in the kitchen? thats where the knives are you fool.
Calling someone a drama queen is so negative. Why not "content creator"?
If I ever get real rich, I hope I`m not mean to poor people, like I am now.
If I had a dollar for every time someone told me I`m cute, I would have 1 dollar ... thanks mom.
Unless you fell off the stairmaster and a barbell fell on your face... no one wants to hear about your workout.
How did anybody express anger before the invention of the caps lock key?
Crossfit is the healthiest way to get rid of your friends.
You never truly appreciate Newton’s laws of motion until you’ve sneezed while going to the bathroom.