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If a dentist makes money off people with unhealthy teeth, why should I trust a toothbrush that 4 out of 5 dentists recommend?
The guy that discovered milk...What was he doing to that cow?
How did human beings express empathy before the phrase "that sucks" was coined?
“It would take too long to explain…” Translated: “I have no idea how it works.”
My brain is giving me the silent treatment today.
Can someone else be a sex symbol today? ... My good T-shirt is still in the wash...
Oh, you think you have relationship problems? Try separating me from my bed in the morning...
Don`t talk to me about hard times. My dog just licked the last piece of pizza.
I named my dog "5 Miles" so I can tell people, "I walk 5 Miles every day"
Always end a conversation with "gotta run" so people think you`re into fitness
dont love..dont hurt...keep doing flirt..:)
If a group of midgets performed the YMCA song, it is to be considered that they did it in lowercase?
I am convinced God only created six days and the devil added Monday.
Hello? HP? I’d like to make a return. I ordered a Laser Jet but you sent me a printer.
BREAKING NEWS: Will Smith sends Miley Cyrus to live with auntie and uncle in Bel Air.