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Why is it so hard to find a woman who loves me for me and not the person I lied and manipulated her into thinking I am?
You ever wonder why it`s only women who need exorcisms?
Starting tomorrow, whatever life throws at me, I`m ducking so it hits someone else!
i dont drink any more and yet again i dont any less either
Do you ever order a club sandwich just to feel like you`re a part of something?
I`d say that 6:30 is the best clock time, hands down.
Relationship Status: ( ) Single ( ) In a Relationship ( ) Married ( ) Engaged ( ) Divorced (X) Waiting for a miracle
Always look both ways before crossing a woman.
My wrinkles are all from laughter. Except those between my eyebrows. Those are my `WTF` lines and those things are deep.
Why aren`t we letting blind people think that dragons are real?
Free middle fingers for everyone!!!
My wife and I have been happily married for two years. 1997 & 2004
I don`t know what I would do without Facebook, but I`m sure it would be something more productive
Sometimes entire relationships can only be described as “that weird thing I did for a while.”
If you feel lonely... dim all lights & put on a horror-movie. After a while it won’t feel like you are alone anymore