Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Try sliding down a water slide without running water to realize how important foreplay is
Scott Baio is not a part of the Presidential transition team. I’m really disappointed that Charles is not in Charge of anything.
A kleptomaniac in a bakery really takes the cake
The best way to deal with dumb people is to never leave your house sober
I use awkward numerical range description anywhere between 13 and 4 times a day.
I hate when I drop my pen on the floor and it`s slightly out of reach so I leave it there forever.
Sometimes I feel that I need someone special to complete me, but then I have a pizza and I`m like, "Nope. I`m good."
“True beauty is within” for example opening your fridge.
In a new study women with large a$$es live longer………the men who tell them live distinctively shorter lives.
My wrinkles are all from laughter. Except those between my eyebrows. Those are my `WTF` lines and those things are deep.
It’s amazing how long you can hold your farts at the beginning of a relationship.
Do you think when Spider-Man gets stoned with Batman and the Hulk he sometimes thinks the spider on his chest is real and freaks out?
You got your chocolate in my peanut butter!
My therapist recommended I quit growling at people...
Depression is wanting to lay down and realizing that you are already laying down.