Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Still not 100% clear on whether French Montana is a person or a steakhouse special.
I have short term memory. I also like to fish. Also, I have short term memory.
Miley Cyrus could never live in the kind of cold we`re having here. Can you imagine all the poles her tounge would get stuck to?
I always try to go the extra mile at work, but my boss always finds me and brings me back.
I wish these people who sing songs on the radio would learn the words to the song, they keep messing me up!!
How do I like my eggs? ... Ummm, in a cake
Every day is a constant battle of trying to convince myself I don’t like cookies.
When I see a hot girl walking by, I like to look at her and blink very fast and repeatedly so it looks like shes walking in slow motion. Everything is better in slow motion =)
I live for those really small but special moments in life, like when I see the waiter bringing my food to the table.
Pregnancy test confirmed me my worst fear.......I`m just fat
I can`t really walk the walk, or talk the talk. But, if you need someone to drink the drink, I`m your man!
Just witnessed kids playing tag. What is this world coming to? Do their parents know they are outside, interacting, and getting exercise?
It’s a status….not your diary…
When I text someone and they don`t text me back, I automatically assume that they fainted from the excitement.
The iPad: Because the iPhone was too small for other people to notice you.