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Whoever named the seesaw probably didn’t get another chance to name stuff.
My fella asked me to name all my sexual partners. I took a couple of minutes to list them and eventually got to him. Should of stopped there
I cannot even begin to imagine the conversation that led to the first circumcision.
I will never understand why my fridge has a drawing of a carrot on the beer drawer.
I don`t care if it`s a kidnapping/murder; if you tell me a monkey will be involved, I`m 97% more likely to participate.
My car broke down outside a massage parlor on today ... And again tomorrow.
People with pierced nipples have no excuse for losing their car keys.
You will never find the right person, if you do not let go of the wrong one. Call me!
I don`t always get to drink free beer... But I just happen to know my neighbor went to the night shift, and I saw him filling his fridge today.
Do you ever wake up and kiss someone next to you and appreciate being alive? I did this and was chased out of the bus
If you people knew how expensive, time consuming and hard this stalking stuff is you wouldn`t freak out every time you see me in your bushes.....geesh
Advice of the day: Don`t go trick or treating at the bank. They get freaked out. Especially when it`s not Halloween
I self medicate, therefore you live.
You`re right, you didn`t ask that guy for a d!ck pic, but nobody asked for hundreds of pictures of your face either.
There should be reality show where 16 congressmen are forced to take jobs in the private sector.