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You all take typos way too serious, you gays.
I just want someone who will love me for the a$$hole that I am ;)
You only live once.......Unless someone has a defribrilator
I often wondered what it`d be like to be married to an idiot. I asked my wife and she said you get used to it after a while.
I just let my mind wander, but it didn’t come back yet.
Last New Year my resolution was 1920x1080 , this year it`s to be less of a nerd.
Woke up this morning and the alarm clock was laughing at me....then I realized it was upside down and the time was 7:07
If you were born after 1990, you will never know the frustration of having to rewind your parents porn tapes to the exact same spot...
Calling all men...Eboli can live up to two months in semen..YES! You better wash your socks.
Teacher: Why are you late!? Me: There was a man who lost a $100 bill..Teacher: That’s nice. Were you helping him look for it? Me: No, I was standing on it until he f*cked off.
No Shirt No Shoes No Service. What about pants?
Meanwhile one million men got to enjoy a quiet afternoon at home without anyone nagging them.
I`m not funny, I`m just kidding u
Sometimes I listen to strangers conversations and mentally give my opinion
You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.