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The fact that Burger King can sell you 10 chicken nuggets for $1.49 should concern you more than it should entice you.
Don`t cry because it`s over, smile because you have incriminating evidence.
Why are there never any good side effects? Just once I`d like to read a prescription bottle that says, "May cause extreme sexiness."
Is it just me, or does this gravy I made taste like scotch? Anyway, best Thanksgiving EVER!
Iām in no shape to exercise.
Be careful on how tough you are on your kids....Strict parents create sneaky children.
Drunk me absolutely loves creating awkward encounters for sober me.
Hangman was my favorite childhood learning game that promoted hanging someone for a wrong answer.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how likely is it that your dumbass will say 11?
My sister borrowed my favorite shirt without asking again, so I changed her Facebook profile picture to a positive Clearblue pregnancy test.
Guys just want a virgin porn star and girls just want a dangerous safe guy.
You want me to smile? How can I smile when 28% of Americans aren`t getting enough fiber?
Shaving your head is the "You can`t fire me because i quit" approach to male pattern baldness.
You`re annoying, but honestly, I`ve been annoyed by better.
"Because it would be hilarious,"... is probably not a good reason to elect someone to be president.