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I would watch NASCAR if hot wheels designed the tracks.
Googling ways to dispose of a body, mostly to freak out the douche behind me who keeps staring at my laptop screen
The only thing I understand about Algebra: I look at my X and I wonder Y
If your house doesn`t have house numbers on it, you need to address that situation.
If something on this page offends you, please bring it to our attention so we can all laugh at you.
"Go left at the chopsticks in the road" - Chinese directions
Ride me like you stole me.
I Like this quote. I dislike this quote. I am so clever that sometimes I don´t understand a single word of what I am saying.
u cant spell awesome without me
To all who called into work drunk today. Happy St Patrick`s Day.
It`s a good thing not everyone has a smartphone. Someone has to honk when the light turns green.
Life is like a teenager`s p@nis. some are short, some are long, but it is always hard.
I`d be much more attracted to you if you were much more attractive.
When I`m bored, I like to superglue Doritos to my cat and make it run around the house like a stegosaurus.
When you are on a first date and she says to you: "I want you to treat me like a movie star," it is vitally important to establish which type of movie