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That`s weird, all this time I thought the Birds and the Bees was a dance from the 50`s.
It was awkward when she said, "And yet your feet are so big."
I don`t "get lost". I find creative ways to get places I didnt know I wanted to go.
Dont piss me off...I`ll give your number to all the kids and tell them it`s Santa`s hot line!
Having plans sounds like a good idea until you have to put on clothes and leave your house...
I don`t care what people think of me. It can`t be half as bad as what I think of them...
Home is where you can say anything you want, because nobody listens to you anyway.
I know you`re supposed to have 3 balanced meals a day, but how many can I have at night?
Well aren`t you a f*cking waste of two billion years of evolution.
Don`t waste your time being difficult. Put forth a little more effort and be impossible.
Here Comes Honey Boo Boo has been canceled. In other news, my faith in humanity has been restored.
Office thermostats only have 2 settings: hell fire and hypothermia.
My coworkers sending dirty messages to other coworkers when I leave my computer unlocked is why I have trust issues. ... and dates.
No thanks, NASCAR. If I wanted to spend 8 hrs watching a car drive around in a big circle, I`d go on a road trip with my mom.
"We have HBO" - apparently still a bragging point in the motel industry.