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Whoever lost a bundle of $20 bills tied up in a rubber band..I found the rubber band..
Redneck word of the day : Asphalt. It`s your own dumb asphalt !!
I´m pretty sure I had a good time last night. Let me finish reading the police report and I´ll let you know.
I have never been guilty of taking the smaller pizza slice.
Guys...dont mess up and buy her the wrong brand of vacuum cleaner for Valentines Day this year. Spend a little extra for a really good one ... Just tring to help.
How do some people manage to sit on it and talk out of it at the same time?
When I asked if you had protection, pepper spray isn’t what I meant.
a walk in the woods helps me to relax and release tension the fact that I`m dragging a body behind me should be irrelevant.
I thought about exercising all day long. I am so exhausted.
I`ll tell you what`s wrong with modern society. Nobody ever drinks out of the skulls of their enemies anymore.
If you are offended by the words "In God We Trust" on your money, then send it to me. I don`t mind it at all.
If you recieve something that says,”Send it to all your friends” , then please don`t consider me as your friend.
Imagine coming home from a long vacation and finding your bathroom towels are wet from just being used. I can do that to your ex if you want.
I feel sorry for people who take everything way too seriously.
Four out of five voices in my head are saying this is gonna` be a great day.