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It`s funny how when you post a status and some people think it`s about them..Hahahaha it was.
Burger King is offering delivery service in some areas. I don’t trust it. Everyone knows it’s impossible to drive without eating the fries.
I don`t have a smartphone I have a phone that shows potential but doesn`t apply itself
The easiest way to keep a secret is without help
People say that marriage is a job...marriage is not a job, its a hobbie!! Dating while you`re married...that`s a job!!
Guess what`s brown and sticky... a stick.
I would leave my house a LOT more if I could take the couch with me and wear my pajamas.
The fact that Pitbul is even considered a musician is more disgusting than the fact that toothpaste was invented years after french kissing was.
Their bedroom door is closed. I better walk in there for no reason. - kids
I just lost another hour trying to figure out how to reset the clock in my car.
Just a word of advice for all you single guys having a hard time out there, Forget the clubs, forget the churches, forget the online dating sites, as the best places to meet single women are the freezer section and down the cat food isle.....
Technically, if you don`t cut the cake, it`s still just one slice.
It`s not too late to start convincing our children that the world really did end in 2012 and we`re the survivors.
I wan`t you to know that someone cares. not me, but someone.
Most of happiness just comes from staying away from idiots.