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what does bgif mean on a friday night ? ... boobs go in front
Nice try butter flavored pancake syrup, but I`m still putting butter on them!!
Iron Man is a superhero. Iron woman is a command.
Ah man... i don`t have any notifications... better go check another computer
Life is tough. It’s even tougher if you’re stupid.
I`ve never literally been tortured but I have walked behind old people when I was in a hurry.
Pro tip for picking up girls – keep your back straight and lift with your knees.
Rabbits jump and they live for 8 years. Dogs run and they live for 15 years. Turtles do nothing and they live for 150 years. Lesson learned.
I Like this quote. I dislike this quote. I am so clever that sometimes I don´t understand a single word of what I am saying.
I can`t possibly f*ck up the entire universe, so that`s a relief.
Dear person reading this, just want you to know that someone cares about you. It`s not me, but I`m sure someone does...
What`s this g-mail? I just got used to e-mail. And why did they skip f-mail?
LIFE HACK: Answer your phone "Hello you`re on the air" and 99% of the time people will just hang up
I like to walk by a chick in slow motion so she thinks i`m the one
I spent the first 20 minutes of 2014 looking for the remote.