Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Laughing at your mistakes can lengthen your life. Laughing at your wife’s can shorten it.
I don`t mind people sneezing in public. It`s that "Pre-sneeze face" they make that scares the hell out of me.
I accidentally ran over my neighbour`s cat........... Nine times....... just in case
With the rise of self-driving vehicles, eventually there will be a country song about how your truck left you too.
Appearing on several episodes of Cops doesn`t make you a TV star.
If you stand by the sea, it sounds like putting a shell to your ear.
When you can no long help someone, I can - said the coroner.
Gaining weight while you owe me money is a sign of disrespect
Uses for the plastic ruler..... 5% to draw stright lines 95 % to hit people.
If you lose a tooth as an adult, the tooth fairy gives you a trailer.
Shouldn’t the Air and Space museum be empty?
It must suck when billionaires wake up feeling like a million bucks.
Remember when mowhawks meant you were a tough punk rocker? Now they just mean that you`re 3 and your parents are idiots.
5 symptoms of laziness –> 1.
I only say "bless you" twice. If you sneeze a third time I assume it didn`t take and you`re a demon who must be destroyed.