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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

You all take typos way too serious, you gays.
Not to cause a panic but i`m starting to think we`re running out of things to stuff inside pizza crust.
I`ll be right with you, I`m busy being inappropriate on the internet.
Perverts can contribute to society. Look at the disturbed individual who discovered cow`s milk.
Some of you take selfies from so close up, I`m beginning to wonder if you`re a T-Rex.
I watched the deleted scenes from a porno last night. Turns out he ended up fixing the washing machine after all.
Uhm, excuse me waiter... I`d like to return my food. It only received 5 likes on Instagram.
Reason number 347 why I hate Facebook: A guy from high school posted 11 new photos all with the caption "me"
Every time I visit my parents, I send the kids in first so they can signal me if it`s an intervention.
Offering a hobo $5 from across the street is my version of Frogger.
It`s funny how my car drives slower on the way to work, than when I`m on my way home.
I`m living in a drama-free bubble today. Respect the bubble, people, respect it!
New favorite term: Multislacking. It’s nice to find a name for something you’re good at.
I’m off for a quiet beer. Followed by fourteen noisy ones.
You know you’re getting old when you have to have a drink to motivate you to go out & have a drink.