Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Don`t do anything you`re not prepared to explain to a paramedic...
Apparently there`s enough room in my mouth to put more than one foot.
Telling a girl to calm down is like trying to baptize a cat.
i spend 800% off my life exaggerating
I love hearing rumors about me...that`s how I find out what I`ve been doing.
Just used the "f word" over on FB so I`m waiting for the villagers with their torches, axes, whatever those people use.
There is a special place in hell for people who are not ready to order when it`s their turn.
I´ll never be old enough to know better.
Today is Valentine’s Day or as I call it… Tuesday.
It isn`t a successful BBQ until some drunken idiot walks face first into a closed sliding glass door. I`m fine by the way.
Remember waffles are just pancakes ribbed for your pleasure
One time I was in a bar and there was this really weird guy pouring booze all over his hand. Turned out he was trying to get his date drunk
my mom and I have so much in common..she doesn`t listen and niether do I :p
Do people with cats not know about dogs?
I was hooked on auctions after only going once... going twice