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I don`t hate you. I just hope your next period happens while you`re in a shark tank!
So far I’ve spent most of 2016 flipping off the weather channel.
I`m sorry call me old fashioned,but i think your shorts should be longer than your vagina...
Someone needs to take a chain saw to your family tree.
I should probably be in a relationship just for the supervision.
My life is like a romantic comedy except there’s no romance and its just me laughing at my own jokes.
This status is mine....I licked it.
Please, lord, let me prove that winning the lottery won`t spoil me!
Really don`t see the need for pants for the rest of this day. :)
Go ahead, post sober. Ruin everything.
Ahh..Monday, so we meet again ... You dirty bitch!!
If I was gonna make a bomb, I`d use the same color wire for the whole thing.
Bitch, I grew up on the streets!!...Yes, it was Sesame
The only solution to a problem is to find the source and Kill it.
Printing an expiration date on a bag of Cheetos is just a waste of ink.