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I’m gonna make this girl mine….. Right click, Save As….
"You`re right I`m sorry. You`re right I`m sorry. You`re right I`m sorry. You`re right I`m sorry" - me practicing for a successful relationship.
I socially identify as the guy who tried to jump off of the sinking Titanic but ending up hitting a massive propeller on the way down.
Hurricane preparedness tip: 1. Buy several kegs of beer 2. Drink beer 3. Wait for flooding 4. Drop kegs in water 5. Float to safety....
I liked you until you started ignoring me and then I loved you. -Girls ---- Bfanch
"The truth shall set you free"....unless you are in court. Then you should probably shut the f*ck up.
I think I`m approaching my "best if used by" date
My dad always used to say, "The sky`s the limit!" Which is probably why he got fired from his job at NASA.
This girl is ignoring me like a check engine light.
I wouldn`t consider myself someone that litters but I do turn on my windshield wipers while im driving down the road to get rid of that useless flyer some idiot put on my car when I quickly run into the store.
I hate when a website has a picture that you can click and enlarge. Then the "enlarged picture" is the same exact size as the thumbnail!
12 year olds having sex ? Im sorry when i was 12 i was to afraid to pull my foreskin back incase my d*ck fell out.
Has anyone else ever noticed that the word therapist spells, "the rapist," when split into 2 words?
How many times do I have to say "excuse me" before "get the f*ck out of my way" becomes acceptable?
Life is like a bowl of soup; you only get blown if you’re hot.