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I`m running low on funny but I have plenty of sexy left.
I BRIEFLY had an urge to clean ... but that lasted only 5 minutes .. whew! That was close! Lol
I used to drink a lot in the 80s. Then I realized, who cares what the temperature is?
My support group can outdrink your support group.
I love hearing rumors about me...that`s how I find out what I`ve been doing.
Do you think retailers in Colorado have seen an increase in the sales of Easy Bake ovens and Brownie mix?
Wow! Sit-Downs are way easier than Sit-Ups!
I commend any woman for going into labor outside a hospital setting. If I have to poop anywhere besides my own bathroom I go into panic mode
When my friends ask me to babysit, I ask if the kid is a "mean drunk" or a "happy drunk." Gets me out of it every time.
Paint thinner? I call bullsh!t. I been painting myself with it all week and I`m still fat.
Of course everyone seems sexy in a nightclub. There`s liquor and you can`t hear them.
Our phones fall, we panic. Our friends fall, we laugh.
Hey dumb a$$. Not everything I post pertains to you. Just the stuff that starts with Hey dumb a$$.
It`s Sunday or as I like to call it, "No pants day".
I love the phrase "boobie trapped" I mean, who doesn`t like to be trapped by boobies????