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Hey I just met you... And this is Crazy... But this is a nice restaurant... So, Silence your baby!
PMS is no joke, you guys. I just ate like three bags of Reese`s Pieces. Oh, and my wife`s really being a bitch.
thinks there are times when your the most beautiful girl in the world, and there are times when Iām sober.
After years of commercials, I still have no idea what a Go Daddy is
So I just saw a donkey crossing the road. The cool thing was he looked both ways before crossing. What a smart a$$.
Sanity is so overrated. I mean, it`s a nice place to visit, but I wouldn`t want to live there....
My internet goes out more than I do.
I`m not sure what my credit score is but I`m pretty sure I`m losing.
Shout out to all the ladies at church today in the same clothes from the club last night.
Orion`s Belt is a huge waist of space.
My relationship is mostly me apologizing for saying something super bada$$ and hilarious
My parents weren`t exercising all of those nights.
How can I learn to be more patient? (I`m only interested in quick-fix solutions with immediate results please)
Men think us women dream of finding the perfect man when really, all we want is to eat anything without getting fat.
That urge you get to write "No one gives a sh!t" on someone`s status..