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Feeling tired as you struggle to get through the day? There`s a nap for that.
"The more the merrier!" usually means "oh, you overheard us making those plans, huh?"
If there`s one thing that I`ve learned it`s, that I should have learned way more than one thing.
I wash once and dry 3-4 times, depending on how much I want to delay folding my clothes.
A snail can sleep for up to 3 years. I didn`t know it was even possible to be this jealous.
1 in 5 bosses will let you leave work early if you claim to have `lady problems` then start crying. It works even better for guys.
Yes I am a bad boy ... But your the one that`s going to get spanked.
Trust me ...... I can`t believe I`m still here either.
FYI: You can`t beat rock-paper-scissors with yourself in the mirror.
It is a sad day when you go to all the trouble of getting a Frontal Lobotomy and no one notices.....................
If someone says you`re not a mermaid, don`t talk to them. You don`t need that kind of negativity in your life.
I always find the "easy-open tab" right after I finally manage to tear the package open with my teeth.
Don’t compare yourself to others, that’s when you start to lose confidence in yourself.
If there is such thing as a fake noodle, does that make it an impasta?
Sometimes I wish I was an octopus so that I could slap 8 people at once.