Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I love running my fingers through my girlfriend`s hair. It`s also a great way to let her know we`re out of napkins.
Some people might as well post ‘Wants Attention’ as their Facebook status.
I love long legs.... Long sexy legs.....But not on a Spider, I hate long sexy legs on a Spider.
Googling ways to dispose of a body, mostly to freak out the douche behind me who keeps staring at my laptop screen
Want the truth? Just ask a kid.
The ultimate act of trust is buying your spouse a gun, and then showing them the correct way to use it.
they say there`s love in every corner....gosh I think I`m moving in circles
If my girl didn`t want me to wear her new Christmas thong, she shouldn`t have said she bought it "for me." Women are confusing.
Pretty nice opinion you got there. It`d be a shame if someone were to...not give a sh*t about it
Cashier: "Would you like to donate to charity today or are you a giant piece of sh!t?"
Is it annoying when people answer their own questions? Yes it is. Do I wish they would stop? Absolutely.
Here`s to all the kids who have never found their name on anything in a souvenir store
My Status updates are so great people hit the like button twice
I wonder if my neighbors are more tired of hearing my dog bark or me screaming at it to shut the f*ck up.
The voices in my head are not real, but they have good ideas.