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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

My girlfriend said we can`t hang out this weekend because she doesn`t really exist.
Next time you order coffee at Starbucks tell them your name is Bueller and then leave the store.
ah... Crocs the 21st century version of the chastity belt
A poem about me: I hate mornings. I wish I was drunk. The End.
Seven years ago today I swallowed bubblegum ... I`ll keep you all posted.
When you were little, “I’m going to tell your mom” was the scariest sentence ever.
my friends status was "standing on the edge of a cliff" ... so I poked him
I`ll just admire you from afar.. Or 500ft. That`s what this paper says.
If you work Security in a Samsung store does that make you a Guardian of the Galaxy?
... and so begins another failed hundred or so attempts at trying to write the correct year on anything I date.
You made several good points, and I understand that you are right, but the way you said it was so douchey I have to take an opposite stance.
If only my goals were to be poor, lazy and out of shape.
Ever noticed how you used to be embarrassed by things you did or that happen to you, but now your first thought is "I can post that"
Violence is never the answer. Unless the question is `What is never the answer?`
If you would`ve told me back in 1999 that we`d still be using animated gifs in 2015, I would`ve said "Wow, what a boring conversation"