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Why is it socially acceptable to wear a bikini at the beach but not on the bus? At the end of the day I’m just a guy in a bikini on the bus.
I have no words to describe this day. I do however have a number of obscene gestures that would work.
It`s a shame that stupidity can`t be converted into a usable energy source.
When they say all expenses paid, does that include bail?
I’ve never had angry sex. I’m always happy and quite surprised that it is actually happening.
We always say that our elders are wise, because of their years of experience. But you know what? ... Stupid people get old too.
Counting to ten when someone pisses you off works much better if you`re counting punches.
If you ever need nothing I am here for you.
I eat tacos over a tortilla so that way when stuff falls out Boom another taco.
Apologising does not mean you are wrong and the other person is right, it just means you value your relationship more than your ego.
I was called sexist today. So..i said i think ur mistaken...its pronounced sexy! LOL
ever notice that on a phone the word "mom" is 666?
Yes, it`s a bad time. Let me call you back when I`m not feeling so honest.
I never used to mind my wife hitting me in the face as she climaxed until I found out she was faking it.
I just don`t think a partridge in a pear tree would make a great gift