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They say money can`t buy you happiness, but I`ve got a receipt from the liquor store telling a whole different story.
The invention of the shovel must have been ground-breaking.
My worst fear is seeing one of my statuses marked as "exhibit A"
"Turtle Power" is not an appropriate response when HR asks you how you plan to meet your objectives this year. Apparently.
You are living proof that the Lord is testing me.
I`m always amazed that when tragedy strikes how quickly people on Facebook become experts on the subject no matter what it is.
Every time I`m not with my kid and someone asks me "Where`s the baby?" I just yell "Oh crap!" and run in the direction I came from.
I`m so in Debt, I could start a Government.
A day without sunshine is like, you know... night
Friday the 13th is still better than Monday the whatever.
I don`t always do a lot, but I put a lot of thought into it.
If banks were as fiercely regulated as McDonalds breakfast cut off time, there’d be no problems.
I could scroll down my Facebook page and write a country song!!
Tried to donate blood today but they had too many questions about where I got it.
Why do people at home on TV have their pants on?