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McDonald`s should have a 3rd window, where you can trade in all the wrong sh!t they gave you at the second window.
Hi, welcome to adulthood! You`ll be constantly tired except for right before you need to go to sleep.
I`m still kinda pissed that they never did tell us how to get to sesame street
Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of Alcohol
Offering someone food and secretly hoping they say no.
You girls are lucky, tampons are changing the end from a string to a bit of tinsel but its only for the Christmas period
The problem with the world is that the intelligent people are full of doubts while the stupid ones are full of confidence.
I just read more people are killed by toasters than sharks.So if you`re swimming in the ocean and see a toaster SWIM FOR YOUR LIFE!
Why Am I Sober? - A Horror Story
A high school diploma takes you 12 years to get, 2 minutes to frame and a lifetime to forget where you put it.
I`m pretty sure the phrase "sleep tight" originated in prison...
The closest I ever got to murdering is when I held a Oreo cookie in milk until the bubbles stop.
A new study has found that men have a hard time reading women`s facial expressions. Main reason? They usually aren`t looking at her face.
All I want is a little more than I’ll ever get.
Women- God’s version of a Rubik’s cube.