Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I love tan lines... it`s like God came down and high-lighted all the good parts... ;-)
Why do TV shows say "May contain nudity"? It either does or doesn`t. Don`t make me watch the entire thing and find out the hard way it doesn`t....
Love putting on underwear fresh out of the dryer. They`er so warm and cozy, and it`s fun to scan the laundromat and guess whose they are.
I wonder how often I’ve narrowly avoided death without even noticing.
Why is it called a menstrual calendar and not an egg timer?
Video Game Logic: Everyone worse than me is my bitch and everyone better than me has no life.
Never judge a girl`s boob size by their jacket.
WANTED: Someone to follow me around and whisper "You`re an adult" every few minutes.
If it doesn’t make you afraid to go to the bathroom the next day, it’s not really hot sauce.
Women might be able to fake orgasms, but men can fake a whole relationship.
It`s really difficult to find what you want on eBay. I was searching for cigarette lighters and found over 15,000 matches...
Hi you`ve reached my voicemail,,, Please leave your name, number and a damn good reason why this conversation couldn`t be done over text
You`re not unlucky. Bad things happen to you because you`re a dumba$$.
I had your cake and ate it too.
No one should be surprised that so many statuses are about unhappiness and failure. You don’t end up on Facebook by making good life decisions.