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Today is one of those “yeah, I’m not getting anything done” kind of days.
Some days, the supply of available curse words is insufficient to meet my demands!
My husband has a blanket pulled up over his face. I think this means he wants me to talk to him.
I`ve found that the best web designers in the world are spiders.
If you have a dog grooming business and it’s not called “Doggie Style” then something is wrong with you.
E-Cigs. The great taste of water vapor, the cool look of blowing a flashlight.
My definition of" Armed and Dangerous" is: a pissed off wife with a bottle of wine, and the credit cards.
Halloween is the perfect time to redistribute those undesired condiment packets of ketchup, mustard, BBQ & soy sauce.
How many boxes of these Thin Mints do I need to eat before I start seeing results?
I just walked by an old man who kept saying, “One, three, five, seven, nine… one, three, five, seven, nine…” I thought, “How odd.”
It is a sad day when you go to all the trouble of getting a Frontal Lobotomy and no one notices.....................
This hot fudge sundae hasn`t killed me so it must be making me stronger.
"Iyam A. Wii Todd" <-- Bet you can say that name out loud, in a crowded place, and really fast!
Hey, did you know that in two days, tomorrow will be yesterday!
Let this be known as my Living Will. I do not wish to be cremated. If the Zombie Apocalypse happens I would like to be a part of it.