Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
It was love at first sight...I should have looked twice.
You know something bad is about to happen when someone says "Hold my beer and watch this."
Couples have an amount they can spend up to without discussing with each other. Mine is around $50. My wife`s is around $643.27. Apparently
The best moments in life are simple… you know like when you sit down and get comfy and the remote is magically next to you.
Don`t judge if you don`t know me. Unless you`re making my pizza & you say "This guy looks like he wants extra cheese" then please do..
If ignorance is bliss. You must be the happiest person on this planet.
The best thing about falling down when you`re home alone is that you can just lie on the floor and take a nap.
My doctor said I`m healthy enough for sexual activity ... I`m just not attractive enough.
I wish you could Google anything. Like, "Where is my phone?" and it would be like, "It`s under the couch, dumba$$."
Sometimes it looks like I’m flashing gang signs, but really I’m just trying to get Scotch tape off my hand.
Don`t hate every single one of your friends yet? Get Facebook.
DRINK BEER SAVE WATER..www.godrunk.com
A bunch of us are going out for pancakes when Facebook is over, if you want to come along.
I am not sure why a guy getting trapped in a vagina sculpture is big news...men have been trapped by vaginas for many years.
Five second rule? Pfft. What`s the point of having an immune system if you`re not going to use it?