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You’re not really living if you don’t have an arch-nemesis.
I put the pro in inappropriate.
Somewhere, a smart Lasik surgeon has an office full of brochures that are all slightly out of focus and a recovery room where they have clear print.
Calm down, take a deep breath and hold it for about 20 minutes.
I was addicted to the Hokey Pokey but I turned myself around.
Starting to believe I`m trouble
Just joined the support group Hokey Pokey Anonymous ... A place to turn yourself around. ;)
Limbo champion walks into a bar...he`s disqualified.
If you can’t laugh at yourself, call me… I’ll do it.
Why is it called stealing when your WIFI is trespassing in my house?
My Grandma would be pissed if she found out how many times she`s died so I could get out of having to go somewhere
If I could be any animal I`d pick a turtle, strictly for the chance, however slight, I could be turned into a ninja.
If you find a four-leaf clover it means you have entirely too much time on your hands.
It`s a good thing not everyone has a smartphone. Someone has to honk when the light turns green.
Sometimes in the morning while drinking my coffee, I think about all the people I will be pissing off.