Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
There would be fewer problems with children if they had to chop wood to keep the television set going.
Stress balls really work when you shove them down someone`s throat.
Of course I talk to myself. Sometimes I need expert advise.
If you can´t say anything nice ... we´re probably related.
I eat cake every day because I know somewhere out there, it`s someone`s birthday and I need to show respect.
"You have the right to remain silent so as not to incriminate yourself" -- 5th Amendment, understood by nobody on Facebook.
I found my wife through online dating. So, she`s definitely got some explaining to do!
Male or female, no one f*cks with you if you put your lipstick on like The Joker.
When I found out my toaster wasn`t waterproof, I was shocked!
I swear... my remote just decides to take random vacations sometimes.
Overwhelming scientific evidence suggests a startling number of people are capable of ignoring overwhelming scientific evidence.
I`m hoping to avoid a situation where I have to dance to save my own life.
I have four missed calls from my mom. A rescure team is gonna break down my door and find me sitting on my couch in my underwear eating cheetos any minute now.
See, I would run, but it`s usually bodies of joggers that are found dead in the woods.
Whoever said "money doesn`t grow on trees" has obviously never sold weed.