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Sometimes all you need is $500 million dollars.
I just did my budget for August. If I don`t buy food ... I won`t need toilet paper. I think I`m on to something here.
Taking selfies is a lot of work when you’re not attractive.
If I ran NASA, it would be mandatory for the ground crew to be dressed as apes when the space shuttle lands.
A walk of shame is always sad. Don`t make it worse by adding the sound of Flip flops to it.
If anybody asks, I was on Facebook all night tonight, okay? Thanks for having my back, everyone.
Doing the moonwalk is the only way to look cool while wiping dog crap off your shoes.
Peanut butter sandwiches taste better when cut in half diagonally...........Listen,, I don`t make the rules people.
If you`re going to give me dirty looks for being at the liquor store at 10am, don`t be open.
If you`re behind someone at an ATM at night, let them know you`re not a threat by gently kissing their neck.
If a post is really good you will read it twice. if a post is really good you will read it twice.
"Love your friends, Not their sisters." & "Love your sisters, Not their friends." -By Mummy...
People go to the bar hoping for 2 things...to get hammered or to get nailed.
We could learn a lot from bees. Organization, productivity, community sacrifice, stinging people who annoy us.......