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I don’t care what the expiration date says, I have to smell it.
Was sitting and doing nothing. Then I realized I could be sitting and doing nothing on Facebook. So here I am.
Finally 21 and now legally able to do things which i have been doing since 15….
Dear Friday, I`m ready !!!
I`d watch NASCAR if Hot Wheels designed the tracks.
English = Hello. Spanish = Hola. French = Bonjour. Japanese = Konnichiwa. Chinese = Nî Hâo. Italian = Ciao. Me = Sup B*tches.
wants to come back as a bird after I die.... just so i can sh!t on the people who piss me off.
Don`t do drugs. Become a Pop star and they give `em to you FOR FREE!
You say you don`t need to drink to have fun. All I`m hearing is designated driver.
Finally, my winter fat is gone, now all I have are spring rolls.
Why can`t Mosquitos suck Fat instead of Blood!
People often say laughter is the best medicine, but they neglect to mention that an overdose can cause one’s ass to fall off.
I`ve seen bride magazines but have yet to see "Eager Groom" magazines.
LOSE WEIGHT FAST! Mix equal parts warm water, apple cider vinegar, & lemon juice toss that disgusting sh!t into a sink & get on a treadmill.
Insanity workout? The fact I am even considering putting down my phone and getting off the couch is crazy enough, thanks.