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I heard lots of bongo noises coming from my loft last night. It sounded very Drum Attic.
I`ve been told that I never take responsibility for anything, and it`s all your fault.
AOL has been hacked. Users have also been asked to check their Atari settings for possible compromise.
Women aren’t that complicated. They just want an honest and genuine guy who will give them insincere compliments they might not deserve.
Remember, Christmas is over if you sit on a strangers lap now and ask for stuff it`s because you`re a whore.
To the makers of rice cakes; thanks for nothing!
How do some people manage to sit on it and talk out of it at the same time?
Everything I know about women, I learned from the Wizard of Oz. For example: If a woman sees a pair of shoes she wants, she`ll drop a house on the bitch to get them.
Don’t confuse my personality with my attitude. My personality is who I am. My attitude depends on who you are.
Whatever “Estimated Time of Arrival” on the GPS. Challenge accepted.
Oh, so you are thinking about me? I am also thinking about myself.....
I hear you`ve been very naughty ... Go to my room!
Before I lose my phone, end up naked, drunk and/or possibly arrested, I would like to wish you all a Happy Independence Day.
Today`s subliminal thought is: …
I quit beer every time I wake up hung over