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When I say "I cleaned my room", I usually mean I made a path from my door to my bed.
Sometimes you run into people who change your life forever ... Bartenders, they are called bartenders.
"I have to go eat cake now", should be a perfectly valid reason for leaving a social occasion where cake has not been provided.
Imagine how much faster Olympic sprinters could run if they saw their wives going through their phones at the finish line
Life..it`s just an `F` in lie....
Why am I not allowed to post anything on here?
Tonight`s weather forecast: dark. Continued dark overnight with widely scattered of light by morning.
If Wyle E Coyote had enough cash to buy all that ACME stuff why didn’t he just buy dinner?
How many Oreos is too many?...Is it 25?...I feel like it should be more than 25
Ever been in the middle of writing a great post and think, did I just run someone over?
I`ve just been hit in the head with a werthers, and I thought........... That`s original!!!
The Roomba vacuum cleaner just beat me to a piece of popcorn I dropped on the floor & this is how the war against the machines begins.
A stress ball, made of concrete, and to throw at the person who`s stressing you out.
Went to Walmart yesterday and bought me a new toilet brush, I think I am gonna go back to using paper, it is much more gentle on the netherlands........