Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Burger King is offering delivery service in some areas. I don’t trust it. Everyone knows it’s impossible to drive without eating the fries.
The United States is probably the only country in the world where people need energy drinks to sit in front of a computer all day.
I took a sexual harassment course this afternoon.... I think I am going to be pretty good at it.
Ever seen a person so disgusting you hold your breath when you walk by them? Yea I have.
Iron Man is a superhero. Iron woman is a command.
Someone’s therapist knows all about you.
DRINK BEER SAVE WATER..www.godrunk.com
Did you know: Your life expectancy decreases every time you ... PISS ME OFF
If you`re having second thoughts, you`re 2 ahead of most people.
Is Google a boy or a girl? Obviously it`s a girl because it won`t let you finish your sentence without suggesting other ideas
Thinking of opening a bar right next to a gym and call it “Decisions, Decisions”.
Remember before we met? I miss those days.
When I text someone and they don`t text me back, I automatically assume that they fainted from the excitement.
I bet the Fantastic 4 were just pretending to have a girl in the group. "Uh yeah she`s just invisible right now. She`s totally real though."
Why is "Pissed" an expression of being upset? I`ve never been so mad that I pee`d myself.